Find Prosperity In Hard Times

They call it bad news, a nearly 10% national unemployment rate – but is it really?  People hear the news and feel like giving up, not even trying.  The 90% who are working and making money get scared and sit on their money.  There is even talk of an economic depression by experts who wouldn’t even say the “R – word” even a year ago.  I propose that a large part of the downturn has psychological roots.   I propose that it is possible not only to survive this economy, but to prosper.

There are in fact many who are prospering during these times.  To be successful in any economic period,  you must change your world view, how you think, and experience a paradigm shift.  This is not new age or magical.  It is simply getting rid of bad habits that hold us back and limit our achievements.   Are you ready to shift gears from survival to prosperity?

First, you must shift your thought patterns from negative to positive.   You are what you think.   Thoughts become actions which become habits  which become character which becomes your destiny.   If 10% are unemployed and 90% are employed, you have much greater odds of becoming part of the 90%.  And if you take into account that in the best of economies we average 4% unemployment, we’ve really only increased the rate by less than 6%.  So the question is whether  the cup is 10% empty or 90% full.  Find out what the 90% are doing, not doing, where they are located, what their education is, and focus your efforts on that.

Avoid people who love to make negative small talk.   The conpiracy theorists, the doomsdayers, the fear mongers, will destroy your thought life and hold you down.  Even in an all out depression there is a group of people getting rich.  I choose to be a part of that group.  Poverty is rooted in defective thinking, a crippling of the mind.  Some of the greatest achievers in the last century are those who though they took great risks, dreamed big dreams, and went bust multiple times, were consistent in their thinking and refused to think like a loser even when flat broke. 

Secondly, you must take a proactive approach to your problems.   Everyone has problems, but not everyone has solutions.  Positive thoughts produce positive decisions and plans.  When a problem comes up before you, make a decision to overcome it, be successful, and begin working on the next logical step.  When faced with a problem, ask yourself two questions -  What is the worst that could possibly happen?…. and what is the best thing that can be done?

When you choose a positive thought pattern and make a decision to succeed, both your concious and unconcious mind will begin creating possibilities and solutions.

Thirdly,  once you develop positive thoughts and a proactive approach,  you must take persistent action.  Your first attempt to implement your positive thinking and proactive plans may not be successful.  Success come through persistence in our actions, not just through positve thoughts and plans.  Thomas Edison made thousands of attempts to locate a substance that would work well in the light bulb.  Eventually, through persistence, he succeeded.  His positive attitude and decision  to succeed fueled his persistence.

Anyone can succeed in this economy.  Once you make a decision to  be positive, proactive, and persistent, your success is only a matter of time.  Success is just around the corner.

Finding Success

Personal growth is often overlooked in the midst of pressing responsibilities and challenging schedules. We get locked into a pattern and then we become blinded by the pattern to greater possibilities, opportunities, and dreams.

Never forget how to dream. Our dreams give meaning and purpose to our lives. Living without dreaming is merely existing. Never forget what it feels like to wake up every day excited about the possibilities and the potential of our future. Do you feel alive? Do you have a dream?

People who have lost the ability to dream live with a sense of dread. The future looks dark and foreboding. The saddest sight I have seen in my international travels are poverty stricken people who have lost all hope. To look in the eyes of a child who has lost hope is heartbreaking.

Poverty is not an empty pocketbook, but a crippled mind. Success begins in the mind. We must start thinking successfully before we can start living successfully. Athletes learn to win mentally before they win in their chosen sport. Financial traders spend much time learning how to think right so they can trade right.

Learn how to dream again. Start thinking like a winner. Then learn how to set goals and plan. Success seldom comes at random. We must have definite goals and a plan for getting there. Nothing of value is accomplished without planning. Think and dream with a pen in your hand.

Along with planning, learn to manage your time effectively. There are some basic time management skills that will enhance the implementation of your planning.

1. Get an appointment book. Plan each year the year before. Plan each month the month before. Plan each day the day before. You’ll sleep better at night when you know you have a written agenda for the next day. Much stress is generated by fearing that we’ll forget something. Writing down our schedule also forces us to prioritize our time.

2. Plan your time in specific blocks of activity. Don’t answer every phone call. The important ones will leave a message in voice mail. The ones who don’t leave a message do not expect a return call. Set aside two specific times per day to answer phone messages. Answering calls randomly throughout the day will hurt your focus and effectiveness.

3. Set aside time to do details and special projects beginning with the most important. If you don’t get them all done, you re-schedule the tasks that are the least important for another day with the satisfaction that the most important tasks have been accomplished.

4. Take time for creative thinking. It has been said that the hardest and most important work we do is the hard work of thinking. This is when our planning is tweaked and perfected. This is when new ideas and breakthroughs are accomplished.

5. Leisure time is our decompression chamber that gets us ready to work again. This is your reward that makes the rest of your week worth it. We work harder and better when we know that there is a reward coming at the end of the week.

Finding success is a combination of re-training our mind, dreaming big dreams, planning, and time management. Be all you can be. Everybody trades their life for something. This is not a dress rehearsal for life, it’s the real thing. We have one shot at success. Make the most of it.

Reality In Marriage

After 25 years of marriage and some serious time as a volunteer counselor, I’ve learned what’s important in staying in marriage relationships long term. The biggest reason marriages hit a dead end is unrealistic expectations. There are so many fantasies surrounding the true meaning of love in the media that many modern couples simply are not dealing with reality. There are four areas that we must come into a realistic understanding of if we are to have meaningful lasting relationships. A realistic understanding brings realistic expectations. Life seems to go better when we live in the real world. Our marriages will have real staying power if we come to an understanding of the four realities of marriage.

1. Emotional Reality: Remember your first crush? Infatuation is a wild mix of hormones, youth, and romance that is magical. Young people refuse to believe this but older folks who have been through the seasons of marriage know it – chemistry is not love. We start out this way, but be aware, every marriage goes through seasons. People who discover chemistry with someone other than their spouse do a foolish thing to chase an emotional high. This “chemistry” is only temporary and fleeting.

There is a reason the preacher makes you swear an oath to God Almighty that you’ll stick with it through better or worse. Be assured, “worse” will come and “worse” will go. There is a springtime, summertime, fall, and a winter in the life of every marriage. Most have heard of the “seven year itch.” You won’t always feel like spring is in the air. Romance has to be worked at. You might have to go to the local music store and buy some Barry White music or decorate the bed with flashing Christmas lights like I once did. (You might be a redneck if………..) Every relationship goes through seasons where both parties would rather not be together. Believe this – If you keep working at improving your relationship, this will pass. My wife and I went through a period like this for a couple of years. Here is the reality …. relationships are hard work.

2. Financial Reality: Getting ahead in life is difficult. Marriage costs money. Two cannot live as cheap as one, I’ve done the math. While still single, I lived for months at a time in a tent and was contemplating paying cash for an old RV to live in while I saved the money to pay cash for a house. It seemed logical to me but not to my new fiance. You get hitched and have offspring. Kids are financial black holes no matter what their age. Have you priced Huggies lately? Education is expensive and poverty is more expensive. I have one in college and one in potty training. Schools charge a fee for everything and community sports programs are even worse. Then there are cell phones, Tae Kwon Do lessons, dancing lessons, music lessons, etc.

Keep life simple. Pay as you go. Don’t go into debt for anything except a house and then pay that off early by doubling up on payments. Marriage without spending money is like being a teenager without music. You’ll get cabin fever and you’ll need some spendable income to get away.

Rising gasoline prices and an unstable economy has impacted where families go for vacation and how long they stay. International oil supplies are very low and another gasoline price shock is probable. These are not times to get in debt.

3. Physical Reality: I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you’re getting older every day. Wrinkles come. Aches and pains show up. You gain weight and its harder as you age to lose it. If your relationship is built on outward appearances, you’ll be a lonely senior citizen. Your spouse is not always going to look as well maintained as they did on your wedding day. As you age your relationship develops an intimacy based on mutual trust and understanding and the outward is not nearly as important. Accept the physical reality that we live in aging bodies and get on with real life.

4. The Reality of Change: Change used to be measured in thousands of years, then hundreds, then by decades. Now change is happening every coulple of years in the realm of knowledge, science, etc. We live in a rapidly changing environment and face challenges that no other generation has faced. And so it is in relationships. Children, health issues, finances, and employment all bring huge lifestyle changes that impact our marriages and families. We can’t control what the whole world does, but we can control what we do, say, and think.

Blessed are the flexible. Stubbornness will destroy your marriage. Both partners must be willing to adapt to changes and work together as a team.

So, get a grip on reality. Decide to stay in for the long haul in your marriage. Settle this in your heart. You’ll be glad you did. – Jeff Burke